I started this one a while ago and have just been so in my own head, I didn't finish.

Affairs are poison. They enter the tiny little imperfections of our lives. The seek out the smallest crack in our otherwise decent foundation. I knew that my marriage wasn't perfect. But, I innocently thought love would conquer all. IF you are in a committed relationship and you are trying your best and there is LOVE, then it's unconditional and everything else will fall into place.

I was so busy concentrating on keeping everything together at home that I missed the little cues that something was amiss. You know, the day to day things.The house, the kids, the budget, working. I thought I was doing my part in my marriage. I allowed my husband to get up and go to work...to stay at work as long as he needed....never worried that he was doing something he shouldn't be doing. We had commitment, we had love. It may not have been perfect, but we had history. A foundation. Over the years, we added the walls and the rooms to our foundation. You know, the history of us, the years, the experiences, the kids, the milestones. This made up our "house".

So when the poison entered our "house". I didn't quite notice. I did think certain things were odd, but I let my rose colored glassed talk me out of worrying too much. I tried harder to be the perfect wife and mother. I tried not to notice how much of a stranger my husband had become. I didn't quite notice the little 'cracks' getting bigger.

Infidelity threatens to bring down the house so to speak. It weakens the structure of marriage so much. It makes you wonder if you will ever be able to trust again. To rebuild the current structure or just move on and start over? If you are in the midst of own turmoil, sitting on the cracked foundation of your house wondering if all the walls are going to close in around you, know that you aren't alone. There are many of us sitting here. Pondering our futures. Hopefully, we won't sit for too long before we find the strength to get up and clean house, one way or another.